The Feeling Of Consumption

After my last visit to my Endo and the quite lengthy consultation with her, I now feel that being an insulin dependent diabetic is very life consuming. With all things considered, I know it has to be. All the daily shots (which total 5 a day) and let's not forget the famous Metformin (which is 2000mg per day). Then of course all the other pills like High Blood Pressure, High Tryglicerides and Depression (now is double the dose). I feel like a walking pharmacy at times.

As for my diet, I am really trying hard to maintain a Vegetarian diet or at least the Flexitarian diet (with occzasional fish). I do know that living like this is better for the environment and for my health. I have already seen my cholesterol drop drastically. And exercise is basicall walking, yoga and light cardio at the gym. I do know some is better than none. I used to do alot of ouside gardening but the recent Texas heat has taken a major toll on my gardens. There is always next year. That is the kind of sweat I like doing.

As for feeling over whelmed, it is the constant thinking of what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. I try to keep my total meal carbs at a maximun of 40 carbs. Am always thinking of that next meal and the meds involved with that meal. What to eat before and after a workout and how much insulin is needed for that workout.

Not to mention, the last things my Endo told me is that within a year I will be put on the PUMP. Now that was the last "needle in my haystack". Do I feel relieved or a failure? It is just all overwhelming to me. I am just CONSUMED with diabetes at this point in my life.....